Every morning as I sip my Chai and eat breakfast (a routine I am thoroughly enjoying) I have gotten in to the habit of reading the newspaper (Its an English Copy). I read about the current events going on in the country and sometimes Op-ed columns that catch my eye. This morning as I was thumbing through the paper the Classifieds caught my eye in the US I'm used to skipping past the Classifieds because I'm not looking for anything within that section. However these Classifieds were not soliciting jobs, cars, or furniture it was wanted columns for grooms and brides! Yes, a wanted section filled with eligible men and women who were looking to be married. I began to look closely at each ad and chuckled to myself because although I'm well aware that arranged marriage occurs in India I did not know that families went as far as posting advertisements in the newspaper for their sons or daughters.
Arranged marriages have been part of the Indian culture since the fourth century. Many consider the practice a central fabric of Indian society, reinforcing the social, economic, geographic, and the historic significance of India. Arranged marriages serve six functions in the Indian community:
(1) helps maintain the social satisfaction system in the society
(2) gives parents control, over family members
(3) enhances the chances to preserve and continue the ancestral lineage
(4) provides an opportunity to strengthen the kinship group
(5) allows the consolidation and extension of family property
(6) enables the elders to preserve the principle of endogamy
The practice of arranged marriages began as a way of uniting and maintaining upper caste families. Eventually, the system spread to the lower caste where it also was used for the same purpose. The specifics of arranged marriages vary; depending on if one is Hindu or Muslim.” Marriage is treated as an alliance between two families rather than a union between two individuals” . Ninety-five percent of all current Indian marriages are arranged, either through child marriages or family/ friend arrangement.
On my walk to work this morning I began thinking more about arranged marriages and the benefits they present. In America although it is expected for a young woman to get married it is also somewhat left to her to find a suitable partner. Arranged marriage allows for the families of both the bride and groom to be satisfied (leaving little room for family "drama"). I know arranged marriage is more complex than that but, seeing the Classifieds this morning really made me think of the differences between marriage in the United States and India. Often times westerners criticize arranged marriage on the premise that marriage should be based off of love. Yet in India, the rates of divorce are the lowest in comparison to other countries of the world. The country maintains no statistics on divorce, and the numbers are not staggering by Western standards – anecdotal reports say one in every 100 Indian marriages is now likely to end in divorce, compared to about half in the United States.
I am not advocating for arranged marriage nor am I advocating against it. I'm simply sharing my morning observation and challenging you to consider life from another perspective. Often times we become complacent in tradition and rebuke things that don't fit in our "tradition". Living in a country with such rich and deeply rooted traditions, values, and beliefs has allowed me to look at the traditions I want to bring back with me and create amongst my family. Namaste.
(Sidenote: As a scholar I need to stick to the practice of citing my work
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